


worth something

by mikimou



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Indulgent, hh i dont know what else to tag uh, spoilers for ch.1, spoilers for nagitos backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28184589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikimou/pseuds/mikimou
Summary: komaeda never felt special, especially in a world surrounded by ultimates.what purpose did he serve other than to just be a stepping stool for them?
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	worth something

komaeda nagito was...something.

on the surface, he seemed like a nice man. caring, charismatic, _ normal _ . he seemed as nice as any other of your classmates, hell, maybe even nicer.

he helped up tsumiki whenever she fell, he kept a smile on his face even when monokuma announced their participation in this so-called ‘death game’,  _ and  _ managed to calm everyone down while they were panicking.

but after the first murder and trial, his facade started to fade away.

gone were his happy-go-lucky smiles. the only thing he showed you and your classmates now were eyes full of insanity and a burning passion for hope. 

he spoke as if hope was a physical being; he was  _ enamored  _ with it; he probably couldn’t go a day without mentioning his severe love for the whole concept of it.

to put it simply, nagito was not normal. under that joyful exterior he put up for everyone was a psychotic mess. it made you start to wonder what happened that made him this way..

that being said, he always seemed to mention the topic of ultimates, not including himself in the group. possibly..his talent (of which, he himself didn’t even consider an actual talent) made him feel inferior to the other ultimates; being accepted into hope’s peak probably didn’t help that either. maybe that’s what sprung up his desire to become a ‘stepping stool’ for your classmates, which in turn came full circle and created his insane ideology of hope.

as creeped out as you were by him, you couldn’t help but be fascinated by him. underneath all of his nonsense speech about hope and whatnot was an interesting guy nonetheless. those green-grey eyes of his seemed to draw you in, no matter if they were filled with delusion or not. 

and you had to admit that he was beautiful. even if he was insane, you couldn’t help but blush whenever he was around you. his tall stature, slightly skinny figure and long lashes made you melt inside. even his weird puffy looking hair made you want to stare at him for hours. you were absolutely  _ drawn  _ to him, weather you liked it or not.

and your fascination with him was what led you down to the beach, watching nagito as he peacefully glanced at the waves that slowly crashed against the shore.

you couldn’t get a full view of his face, but you could see the slight smile that curved his lips. the light from the moon illuminated his face, making his slightly sickly-looking pale skin shine.

he looked like an angel under the light.

suddenly, his head turned around to look directly at you; his shimmering eyes meeting yours. your eyes widened with shock as you realized that he had noticed you. 

surprisingly, he didn’t seem mad; almost happy, even. he motioned for you to come over to him. 

you let out a sigh. if you left now, you’d probably drown in embarrassment every time you saw him.

with no other choice, you walked over to him reluctantly, and  _ god  _ did he look even better up close.

you really couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he was. i mean, it was really the only thing you wanted to focus on about him. he was..well, crazy...and complicated to put it simply. 

the sound of his chuckle started you. that same  _ stupid  _ smile that he had tricked you all with was on his face. you frowned.

despite all of his beauty, and your strange fascination with him, there was no mistake that you hated komaeda nagito.

i mean, he almost killed you all in the trial. if it weren’t for hajime and chiaki you’d all be dead by now..

“what’s wrong, y/n? are you mad that i caught you?”

his playfulness irritated you even a bit more.

“no..i’m just…” you diverted your eyes away from him. “what are you doing here, komaeda?”

“why do you ask?”

you rolled your eyes in annoyance. he laughed again sensing your irritation. “alright, i’m sorry. i just wanted to watch the waves...is that such a crime?”

“well..maybe in these circumstances it is.”

he tilted his head like a dog, still giving you a small smile. “hm? what do you mean?”

“i mean..it’s not really safe to go outside during the night. who knows if someone is plotting to kill you...or vice versa...i mean, seeing someone alone at night right now is suspicious in itself.”

komaeda gave you a knowing nod before scooching a bit to the left. “y/n, do you mind if you stay here a bit with me?”

“huh? why?”

his eyes wandered away from your figure and back to the waves, which were now seceding in size.

“i want to talk to you. we haven’t had that much time to interact, no? but i always see you staring at me…” he chuckled one more. “..and i just want to know what makes me so special? why would you stare at  _ me  _ of all people?”

you hesitated a bit before giving in once again and taking a seat next to him on the sand. it felt warm from the sun that had previously shone on it, but cool at the same time from the gentle breeze blowing through the air.

your gaze met his; his pretty eyes staring directly at you. despite the flush that quickly grew on your face from the sudden attention he had given you, he seemed completely unfazed when you returned his gaze.

..why should you be surprised now? komaeda is weird...you  _ know  _ that already.

“so..why  _ are  _ you staring at me all of the time?”

you stayed silent for a while. what were you supposed to say? what did he expect..?

you took in a deep breath before answering.

“i guess...i’m just kinda fascinated with you, you know? you’re just...strange, komaeda.”

his eyes lit up at this. 

..maybe you shouldn’t have said something that even slightly eluded to praising him..-

“oh..how lucky of me! for an ultimate like you to even grace my presence, let alone stare at me is just...well,  _ unheard  _ of! and to think that you’re enamored with someone as worthless as me is amazing!”

there he went again, off on one of his many tangents about how ‘amazing’ it was for an ultimate to be drawn to him.

you became disconnected from your ‘conversation’ and looked up towards the moon.

it was a full moon tonight; it’s light reflecting on the water. if you stared hard enough, you could even see the reflection of the tiny stars that were millions of galaxies away.

komaeda seemed to take note of this, now staring at the moon and stars with you. 

“the moon’s very pretty, don’t you think?”

you hesitated before giving him a nod. with that, he smiled at you and continued to speak.

“you know..sometimes..i wish i had an actual talent. like..the ultimate astronaut or something. that way..i’d be able to go to the moon for real instead of just staring at it from all the way down here.”

you blinked. through all of his speeches about ultimates and talents, not once did you ever hear komaeda mention that he actually wanted to become one. all you heard was talk about how he absolutely loved being in service of them; not wanting to  _ be  _ one.

“..i never knew you wanted to be an ultimate, komaeda.”

he turned to you, his eyes filled with some kind of dystopian sadness. you had never seen them like that...full of wistfulness and the dream of the impossible.

“yeah..since i was a little kid i’ve always wanted to be an ultimate. i guess.. i’m just not that good anything at all, am i?” he cuckold painfully. “i just have my luck, y’know? once i realized that i would never be good at  _ anything _ , i just kinda gave up on it. i became what i am now; a tool for all the ultimates to use. my goal is just to be useful to you guys….that’s the  _ only  _ thing that i want right now. i mean...seeing you become fortunate because of something  _ i  _ did just fills me with so much hope..”

a heavy pain sunk into your chest. komaeda’s actions...were dictated from his very own self-loathing all along.

you could kind of relate. in this society, ultimates were considered the best of the best. even if they weren’t upper class to begin with, they were treated with more respect and care than any other human being.

and with respect came with the desire. there was so much  _ desire _ to become an ultimate that you probably would’ve never met someone that  _ didn’t  _ want to become one.

you stared down at the sand. although you were an ultimate yourself, you empathized with him. 

sure, komaeda had his own issues. all of his self-loathing aside, he was still human too.

“..i understand, komaeda. this may sound really stupid coming from someone with a talent, but i understand how you felt…”

you looked directly at him, his eyes still on your figure. “..but, what you have to remember, komaeda, is that you still have a talent too!”

he gave you a blank stare before bursting into laughter. “ah..sorry to laugh, but  _ me?  _ having a  _ talent? _ there’s just no way! this ‘luck’ of mine couldn't even come close to yours..!”

you furrowed your brows at his comment.

_ komaeda...why do you hate yourself so much..? _

“..despite what you think, komaeda, i consider your luck to be the most important ultimate of all..” you paused to look back at him, his eyes now locked on yours.

“..i mean, everything you do is based on your luck, right? that’s.. incredible. even if you’re not physically doing anything, no normal human being possesses that kind of luck. you’re... amazing, komaeda. your talent isn’t worthless, and neither are you, ok?”

komaeda stood silent as he took your words in. he turned his head so he was no longer facing you.

you bit your lip. you tried to put it in the nicest way possible..

maybe komaeda just didn’t want to face the truth.

it must’ve been a hard thing to hear from someone he looked up to, an  _ ultimate  _ in this case. you could understand why he was upset.

“...you really think that about me, y/n?”

“..i mean, yeah...i wouldn’t lie to you, komaeda.”

you could sense the slight blush forming on your face. why was he making you so nervous?

then, he suddenly chuckled. surprisingly, it wasn’t a craze-filled one that he usually let out when talking about hope; it was genuine.

that made you feel a bit more content. at least he wasn’t mad at you..

“..that’s...you’re really something, y/n. i’ve never met someone who’s said something like that to me...i.. personally i don’t really believe in myself all that much, but that makes me feel a bit better about myself.”

his green eyes gazed over the water’s horizon. his pretty lips curled up in a smile as he turned back to face you, the shimmer in his eyes more prominent than ever.

“y’know..when i was younger..i never really had any friends. i was usually avoided due to my bad luck...everyone was afraid of ‘catching’ it like it was some kind of disease.” he wove his long fingers through his fluffy locks. 

“..but i guess you could say i was respected. i was never bullied, thankfully, but i was alone. people tended to just admire me from afar like i was a porcelain doll...i’m sorry if that sounds egotistical of me, but everyone just respected me, not bothering to try and become close to me because of my past.” he let out a bittersweet chuckle which tore into your heart a bit more. “..i guess you consider me as the ying-yang of luck, huh? my luck really surrounds every aspect of my life…”

you were a bit hesitant to say anything. you just stared at the sorrowful look on his face as he played with one of the seashells he found buried in the sand. 

“..but..” he continued. “i feel a bit better now about my luck after what you said...maybe.. i am actually an ultimate..it’s not an interesting or very useful one to have..but i guess my bad luck could be considered at an ultimate level. it’s really impressive how much of my life is dominated by my luck alone.”

you smiled. you hadn’t really cared about komaeda’s personal life before this, but after hearing him tear himself down, you suddenly cared about him more than ever. 

had you changed the way he viewed himself? maybe not entirely...but a little part in you could tell that your words had affected him in a good way.

you intertwined your fingers with his.

“i’m glad that you finally realized that, komaeda. you really are special, ok? your talent is something that no one else possesses.i’ve never seen anyone that has such a constant string of both good and bad luck. it’s extraordinary, you know?”

komaeda’s face was now tinted pink, the physical contact from you leaving his heart beating a little faster than it was before. your gaze never left his- trapping him in this tension-filled staring contest that he was about to lose.

“i’m sorry..did i make you uncomfortable, komaeda? i’ll stop...i’m sorry.” 

you were about to pull your hand back when he suddenly clasped it with his other hand. 

and you could swear that he was crying.

“no..ah..you’re not making me uncomfortable..” he sniffed before wiping one of his tears away.

“ _ i  _ should be the one apologizing if i make you uncomfortable in advance, but i’ve never felt so happy in my entire life. hearing all of the sweet things you’ve told me tonight...coming from an  _ ultimate  _ nonetheless has made me ecstatic...i don’t know how else to put it. you’ve made me the happiest man on earth right now, y/n…..” 

he averted his eyes from yours in embarrassment. 

**“...you’ve made me feel like i’m actually not worthless for once.”**

soon enough, your hands were on his cheeks and your lips on his.

komaeda, although startled, gave into the kiss right away. he wrapped one of his slender arms around your waist, bringing you closer to him.

you could feel the flutter of his soft eyelashes against your cheeks as he pressed his face harder into yours. you pulled away from him for one moment to catch your breath, only to recapture his lips in another kiss.

you let out a small whimper as you felt his tongue enter your mouth, dancing delicately with your own. your cheeks were starting to heat up as the kiss became more and more sensual. 

nagito was the one to pull back this time, his face just as flushed as your own. he proceeded to give you a small smile and grasp your hand, interlocking your fingers with his.

he averted his pale eyes from yours. “i’ve..never felt this way about anyone else before.”

“..me neither..”

that made him chuckle which caught your attention. you had never heard him laugh before (well, besides from when he was in his hope-crazed fits) it put a smile on your face to see how genuinely happy he seemed in the moment.

“i’m glad...sorry if this sounds selfish of me, but i’m glad to have been the first one to make you feel this way.” he took your hand and squeezed it; that warm feeling that you had returned again.

those pretty eyes of his were shining all the pure love he held for you. 

“thank you for making me realize my purpose, y/n. thank you so much..”

he kissed you one last time before holding you against his chest, cradling you like he never wanted to let you go.

and just like him, you never wanted to be released of his gentle grasp either.

**Author's Note:**

> hdjhdsajkdashkjads hi guys lol  
> yes ik i havent posted anything since september...i literally stopped writing for like three months but im back i think lol  
> i started this back in september but now i had the motivation to finish it  
> i wrote this during my nagito craze when i was literally head over heels for him lol he sure is something  
> also sorry for the rushed ending i was lazy lmao  
> also lmk if you want me to make a twitter...i dont know how to use it that well but if u guys wanna chat w me id love to make one  
> -rana


End file.
